o you shirk responsibility for your own life with disguised blame? This sounds like a fairly accusatory statement, but 'hear' me out. There's value here. Let's start with the concept of 'shirk responsibility'. There may be ways that your life does not fulfill the dreams you have. This could be an indicator that you have have unconsciously not taken responsibility for creating what you want. Don't get into any judgment or self critical behavior. Simply observe where you life is less than what you want it to be. This will likely suggest some potential activities you could choose to take to close the gap.
Here are some other ways that we human may shirk responsibility for creating the lives we want and some potential disguised blaming techniques.
1.) We may choose not to fulfill our destiny, but hold someone else at fault. Many clients believe they do not have the life they desire because of childhood treatment. Obviously, this is untrue, when you pay attention to stories of very traumatic situations taht some have overcome. If this descibes you (and it is very common), take a serious look at how you still allow the past to create a less than satisfying future. In effect, you are letting 'them' and those events rob you of the life you want. Does that make any sense?
2.) Any time you do not follow through on commitments to yourself--there is some sort of disguised blame. Take a look at the excuses you use, 'I'm tired.', 'I'm depressed.', 'Someone's not treating me right.', 'I'm overwhelmed.', 'I didn't have enough time.' Somehow, these excuses suggest that you had no control over the situation. You might look at the possibility that putting your commitment to yourself and your life first would be taking responsiblity. Usually, if you do that, and take action in spite of circumstances, you will move out of the mindset of the excuse, no longer be controlled by it, and develop momentum by staying in action.
3.) If we hold that, 'It's not my fault!' that we did not follow through, that, of course implies that the blame lies elsewhere. Any time you find yourself thinking or saying that sentence, take a moment to explore whose fault it is.
4.) One way that clients disguise blame is by not taking charge and making sure there is enough time to do the things they commit to do to create the results they want. Then, they end up incomplete and pretending to be the victim of 'time'. If you recognize yourself here, this can be an easy shift to make. Simply make the activity your #1 priority and plan all other activities around it.
5.) Failing to plan or write the plan down is another way to disguise blame. If you don't take the responsibility of creating a written plan, it's unlikely that you will see your responsibility in not having what you want. Written plans are always a factor in success.
6.) Frequently, clients fail to progress because they have no support system. What they do not see is that they have not built one. They have not put out the effort to do what it takes to have the ongoing support that contributes so much to success. How can you create support for yourself? Hire a coach, join a mastermind, get a mentor, take classes at an entrepreneur center. Assocaite with positive and supportive people.Avoid negative and non-supportive situations and people. Make this happen for yourself.
7.) 'Life intervened' is another way that we might disguise blame. Yes, this does happen to all of us at times. If you find that that is your consistent excuse for lack of followthrough though, it is simply an excuse. You might look at how you allow other things to take priority over having the life you want. This is disguised blame because surely it is someone else's fault.
Take a look (gently) at any ways that you do not follow through on your commitments to yourself. These are likely going to show you the ways you get in the way of having the life you want. Once you see your self sabotage, you can start to change it.
Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=301343&ca=Self
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