Procrastination: What is That About? By Suzi Elton

Procrastination is an interesting topic. It's probably one of the top reasons why people do not fulfill their life purpose and achieve their dreams. If you think about it, procrastination seems like one of he most illogical things a person can do. You have a goal in life--yet you avoid taking action to realize that goal. Where's the logic in that? How can we start to undestand the dynamic of procrastination, what drives it, and how to stop procrastinating--without stress? Here are some ideas:

1.) One of the primary dynamics behind procrastination is a fear associated with taking action. It could be fear of success. It could be fear of failure. It could be fear that the task will consume too much time. It could be fear of rejection. It could be fear that we might be embarrassed. There is an unlimited variety of forms that fear can take. The important thing is to get clear on what fear is causing the procrastination and deal with it. This might be by deciding to take action in spite of fear. It might be to realize that the fear is ludicrous in light of what success might be.

2.) Another thing to look at is the possibility that procrastination might be a deliberate self sabotage on your part. This could come from many things: fear of being 'above others', fear of losing love if we succeed in our dreams, fear of exceeding our parental accomplishments. All of these can be subtle and subconscious and driving self sabotage without our awareness. None of it is logical, but it is extremely common.

3.) Another thing driving procrastination can be simple lack of planning. Without weekly planning, and weekly assessment of accomplishment of your plans, you have have no urgency or accountabiltiy. Without a plan, without timelines and without clarity on what to accomplish by when, procrastination makes more 'sense'. It is simply a time filler you use to avoid taking action on something you are unclear about.

4.) What do you procrastinate about? This is an interesting question to ask yourself. Since procrastination is an avoidance behavior, you might take a look to see what it is you're avoiding. Are you avoiding what you fear might change in your life when you succeed? Are you avoiding being the greatness you are capable of? Are you avoiding actions required once you've completed the current procrastinated action? Are you avoiding truly committing to your life? Are you avoiding the great feeling you get when you handle what you've been procrastinating about? Are you avoiding taking charge of your life and instead 'killing time' with trivial activities? Are you avoiding the great burst of energy that comes from action rather than procrastinating?

5.) In order to procrastinate, it's necessary to fill your time doing inconsequential activities when you know they are not the important actions to take. This usually gives a guilty, almost depressed feeling. We know we're not doing right by ourselves, but we get locked into a cycle going nowhere relentlessly.

The #1 solution to procrastination is to resolve to and to actually accomplish anything you've been avoiding--first thing immediately. Simply create a day where you handle that item first. Set things up so that you have the time. Get together everything you need. Prepare for the event. Make it your top priority. Don't do anything else until you have completed this item. Make sure there's enough time in your schedule. Take the time to create a winning situation. Don't give up until it is completed. Don't allow anything to get in your way. Don't be sidetracked by trivialities. Just do what it takes.

You will find that by meeting procrastination 'head on' each and every time, you will release a huge burst of energy. From this burst of energy, you will find that, in the wake of breaking through procrastination, you will unexpectedly accomplish a large amount of other items. By creating the habit to 'Do It First' rather than procrastinate, you literally break through a huge dam of self imposed stagnation. Experiment with this. You will be amazed at your results.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=301340&ca=Self

Trying to Make a Cat Into a Dog By Suzi Elton

Have you ever 'had to' listen to a person complain long and miserably because someone in their life will not behave differently? Do you hear bitter recrimination because you are who you are and won't be what someone else wants you to be? Are you the one who is simply unable to accept the personality or nature of another in your life? These are instances of attempting to turn a cat into a dog.

There's something seriously askew when we cannot accept the basic nature of others in our life. Here are some things to consider.

1.) Perhaps the issue is that you never noticed the basic nature of the cat. You've spent a lot of time with them, but somehow (perhaps because you wished it so) you convinced yourself that the cat was a dog.

2.) There are those who delude themselves about the nature of things from the beginning. They prefer to live in fantasy rather than in reality. They end up with lots of knocks on the head (or heart) doing this, but somehow they just keep repeating the pattern.

3.) Some people accept others as they are at first, then later decide who they are is not adequate or acceptable. This can have a lot of causes...it can be a 'rejection game' meant to allow them to feel superior. It can be a way to create distance. Perhaps they were desperate for attention and company at first, then wake up one day finding fault.

4.) There is almost a kind of 'insanity' involved in wanting others to be different from who they are. It is irrational to want black to be white or to want a man to be a 'girlfriend' or to want for up to be down. Yet, we don't see the irrationality in wanting someone to be different from who they are.

5.) If you want a dog in your life, don't choose a cat for your pet. Pay attention to who people truly are. They will show you their true nature. All you have to do is keep your eyes open, observe, and don't pretend that they are different from what you see.

6.) Make a point not to fantasize or romanticize about people. Don't observe a single behavior and make up whole sagas about what kind of person they are. Just stay in reality and stay out of daydreams.

7.) Don't pretend to be someone different from who you truly are. Doing so will only complicate matters. If you are presenting a false self, you are likely getting others responding to you differently from their true self...and this can only result in problems later.

8.) Keep your social life active enough that you will not make choices driven by loneliness. When loneliness is a primary criteria, you will likely accept others who aren't really a fit for you or your life.

9.) Decide either to accept a person as they are or 'let them go' from your life. Life is too short to spend it in dissatisfaction in our interpersonal relationships. If they aren't what you want, bless them and send them on their way.

10.) If you want a dog, choose a dog. Go where dogs are. Involve yourself in activities that dogs frequent. Get really good at paying attention to dogs you meet. Make time to actively seek out what you want.

11.) Say 'No' to any temptations to accept a cat-'just one last time'-when you really want a dog. This can be a huge temptation when you are actively working to change the pattern. Just don't do it. It doesn't work. It never did and never will. You are deluding yourself.

12.) Don't go where the cats are and pine for a dog. This is ridiculous behavior and incredibly self defeating.

There is a whole new level of joy on the healed side of this pattern. You will find yourself a lot happier and more satisfied. You will accept others...and yourself. You will choose to fill your life with those who are what you want. You will stop suffering from deluding yourself. You will stop wanting and trying to change others. There's a lot of inner peace in acceptance. There's satisfaction in knowing a cat (or dog) when you see one. There's also much more love in the world.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=301342&ca=Self

Believing You Are Separate Is Spiritually Pointless By Richard Blackstone

Most of us have lived the majority of our lives dealing with the world from an external point of view. We use our five senses of taste, touch, smell, sight and sound to interpret the various stimuli that we encounter through the events and experiences of our lives. This is a natural thing because we live in a world of relationships and we compare one set of physical characteristics against another set of physical characteristics to see how one relates to the other.

The world is not made up of only the physical aspects of our existence. We are also in relationship with the metaphysical aspects, which are necessary for the physical world to exist. The metaphysical part of our existence cannot be viewed by using the five external senses that we use to interpret the physical world, so we usually don't think about it much. We are more concerned in our day-to-day living, satisfying the needs of the ego.

Unfortunately the ego is never satisfied and is always in a state of need. You can give the ego all that it asks for and wake up the next morning and it will have a new list of demands. The demands of the ego are external. There is an infinite number of external stimuli, thus there will be an infinite demand for fulfillment.

The ego is a perfect tool for living your life if you subscribe to the concept that you are a separate being from all other people places and things. This paradigm of life says that you are a separate entity and at your core is fear. You are born in sin and you have to justify your existence to a judgmental God who will condemn you to hell if he finds you're unworthy of being accepted into heaven.

So you fear this final judgment and develop a system of 'you against the world' in an attempt to amass points for winning at the game of life. You have a willing partner in the ego who is very adept at putting the demands of the ego first in your decision making process.

You immerse yourself in the external world because that is where the game is being played. You are not concerned with going inside of yourself for peace and answers to your greatest questions because you are separate from everything, including your God, and therefore going within yourself doesn't serve to connect you with anything but your internal silence.

You don't see how this silence relates to your physical needs, and the idea that metaphysical thinking can affect your physical world doesn't make sense. What does make sense are the five senses. If you can't taste, touch, see, smell or hear it, then it doesn't serve you to satisfy your needs. And your needs have to be satisfied to quell your fears. But you can never quell the really big fear, the core fear of your being, until the time of your earthly death.

It's kind of sad because all of your earthly physical life you live in fear of not knowing if you are going to make it into heaven, and when you die you are no longer in the physical world so you never really know in a physical sense if you won the game of life.

According to this paradigm of separation you live your whole life in fear of something that you never know the outcome of. It seems very pointless and that is the realization that most of the people who live their lives in this manner come to. Their struggles and maneuvering and hard work and planning all seem pointless except to the extent that they can feel superior in their relationships to other people and superior over their environment.

The separation mentality is fertile ground for the ego and allows us un-ending opportunities to create those aspects of ourselves that we are not. The problem comes when we believe in the separation mentality so deeply that we define ourselves and align ourselves with the exterior events and experiences that represent who we are not. The ultimate reality is that we are not fear and we are not separate from our source.

You are free, however, to believe that you are those things because you have free will to create yourself as you choose. If it is your choice to create a life of fear of, and separation from, your God source, then that is okay.

Fear says that's the way it is, and love says it is entirely your choice.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=208598&ca=Self

What Are Your Insecurities? By Lynn Lawson

Everyone has insecurities. Whether you feel your nose is a little crooked; you’re not as intelligent as others around you; or you feel you need to shed a few pounds to be at your best; we all feel there are changes we can make to make us feel better about ourselves.

One of my insecurities has always been that I’m more of an introvert. Even though I was a cheerleader in high school, love to perform, participated in lots of group activities throughout my life, and actively seek opportunities to lead, I still consider myself a more reserved person (maybe an introvert with extrovert tendencies). While I am funny to those who really know me (kind of a nerdy goof ball), I still find myself pretty quiet (definitely not shy) around those who don’t know me well. I can honestly say that in party settings, I am not the “go to” person for fun.

I love to have fun, but I love to be in control, too. That’s probably the root of the insecurity, I guess. I never enjoy feeling “out of my element”. And, I sometimes avoid situations in which I feel out of control. However, I also balance this insecurity by placing myself in some of these same situations.

For me, being more introverted allows me to manage my life better. So, to an extent, it serves me well. But, if it ever gets to a point where I cannot be comfortable without being in control, then I’ll know I have a problem. My goal continues to be to challenge myself to experience bouts of free reign in my life, so that I can loosen more and more of my self-restraint.

When you look at yourself, what do you see and how do you feel about yourself? Small levels of insecurity are common in all people. But when insecurity debilitates your life, you have to consider why you succumb to anxieties about yourself. What is the root cause of your insecurity? If you don’t identify the root cause, your potential for a better life can be strangled by the uncertainties you feel about yourself.

Ask yourself these questions to determine your level of insecurity:

1. Am I shy or uneasy with strangers?
2. Do I wish I was smarter?
3. Do I wish I was better looking?
4. Am I overly cautious?
5. Do I think I’m an emotionally weak person?

If you have more yes than no answers, then you may have an issue with insecurity. If so, you’ll need to restructure your thoughts and perceptions about yourself. You can do this by replacing the negative mental energy of your insecurity with positive action.

For example, if you wish you were smarter, rather than ruminating on your feeling of inadequacy, you can choose to learn more about a subject of interest to you. In this instance, taking the time to learn while worrying less about your personal anxieties will give you the confidence you need to gradually banish this thought from your mind.

This same method can be used for any type of insecurity, but you also have to remember to stay in balance. Overcompensating in your life because of insecurity proves futile, as well. Just remember, worry without action is just as destructive as too much action due to little self-worth.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=299690&ca=Self