Procrastination: What is That About? By Suzi Elton

Procrastination is an interesting topic. It's probably one of the top reasons why people do not fulfill their life purpose and achieve their dreams. If you think about it, procrastination seems like one of he most illogical things a person can do. You have a goal in life--yet you avoid taking action to realize that goal. Where's the logic in that? How can we start to undestand the dynamic of procrastination, what drives it, and how to stop procrastinating--without stress? Here are some ideas:

1.) One of the primary dynamics behind procrastination is a fear associated with taking action. It could be fear of success. It could be fear of failure. It could be fear that the task will consume too much time. It could be fear of rejection. It could be fear that we might be embarrassed. There is an unlimited variety of forms that fear can take. The important thing is to get clear on what fear is causing the procrastination and deal with it. This might be by deciding to take action in spite of fear. It might be to realize that the fear is ludicrous in light of what success might be.

2.) Another thing to look at is the possibility that procrastination might be a deliberate self sabotage on your part. This could come from many things: fear of being 'above others', fear of losing love if we succeed in our dreams, fear of exceeding our parental accomplishments. All of these can be subtle and subconscious and driving self sabotage without our awareness. None of it is logical, but it is extremely common.

3.) Another thing driving procrastination can be simple lack of planning. Without weekly planning, and weekly assessment of accomplishment of your plans, you have have no urgency or accountabiltiy. Without a plan, without timelines and without clarity on what to accomplish by when, procrastination makes more 'sense'. It is simply a time filler you use to avoid taking action on something you are unclear about.

4.) What do you procrastinate about? This is an interesting question to ask yourself. Since procrastination is an avoidance behavior, you might take a look to see what it is you're avoiding. Are you avoiding what you fear might change in your life when you succeed? Are you avoiding being the greatness you are capable of? Are you avoiding actions required once you've completed the current procrastinated action? Are you avoiding truly committing to your life? Are you avoiding the great feeling you get when you handle what you've been procrastinating about? Are you avoiding taking charge of your life and instead 'killing time' with trivial activities? Are you avoiding the great burst of energy that comes from action rather than procrastinating?

5.) In order to procrastinate, it's necessary to fill your time doing inconsequential activities when you know they are not the important actions to take. This usually gives a guilty, almost depressed feeling. We know we're not doing right by ourselves, but we get locked into a cycle going nowhere relentlessly.

The #1 solution to procrastination is to resolve to and to actually accomplish anything you've been avoiding--first thing immediately. Simply create a day where you handle that item first. Set things up so that you have the time. Get together everything you need. Prepare for the event. Make it your top priority. Don't do anything else until you have completed this item. Make sure there's enough time in your schedule. Take the time to create a winning situation. Don't give up until it is completed. Don't allow anything to get in your way. Don't be sidetracked by trivialities. Just do what it takes.

You will find that by meeting procrastination 'head on' each and every time, you will release a huge burst of energy. From this burst of energy, you will find that, in the wake of breaking through procrastination, you will unexpectedly accomplish a large amount of other items. By creating the habit to 'Do It First' rather than procrastinate, you literally break through a huge dam of self imposed stagnation. Experiment with this. You will be amazed at your results.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=301340&ca=Self

Trying to Make a Cat Into a Dog By Suzi Elton

Have you ever 'had to' listen to a person complain long and miserably because someone in their life will not behave differently? Do you hear bitter recrimination because you are who you are and won't be what someone else wants you to be? Are you the one who is simply unable to accept the personality or nature of another in your life? These are instances of attempting to turn a cat into a dog.

There's something seriously askew when we cannot accept the basic nature of others in our life. Here are some things to consider.

1.) Perhaps the issue is that you never noticed the basic nature of the cat. You've spent a lot of time with them, but somehow (perhaps because you wished it so) you convinced yourself that the cat was a dog.

2.) There are those who delude themselves about the nature of things from the beginning. They prefer to live in fantasy rather than in reality. They end up with lots of knocks on the head (or heart) doing this, but somehow they just keep repeating the pattern.

3.) Some people accept others as they are at first, then later decide who they are is not adequate or acceptable. This can have a lot of causes...it can be a 'rejection game' meant to allow them to feel superior. It can be a way to create distance. Perhaps they were desperate for attention and company at first, then wake up one day finding fault.

4.) There is almost a kind of 'insanity' involved in wanting others to be different from who they are. It is irrational to want black to be white or to want a man to be a 'girlfriend' or to want for up to be down. Yet, we don't see the irrationality in wanting someone to be different from who they are.

5.) If you want a dog in your life, don't choose a cat for your pet. Pay attention to who people truly are. They will show you their true nature. All you have to do is keep your eyes open, observe, and don't pretend that they are different from what you see.

6.) Make a point not to fantasize or romanticize about people. Don't observe a single behavior and make up whole sagas about what kind of person they are. Just stay in reality and stay out of daydreams.

7.) Don't pretend to be someone different from who you truly are. Doing so will only complicate matters. If you are presenting a false self, you are likely getting others responding to you differently from their true self...and this can only result in problems later.

8.) Keep your social life active enough that you will not make choices driven by loneliness. When loneliness is a primary criteria, you will likely accept others who aren't really a fit for you or your life.

9.) Decide either to accept a person as they are or 'let them go' from your life. Life is too short to spend it in dissatisfaction in our interpersonal relationships. If they aren't what you want, bless them and send them on their way.

10.) If you want a dog, choose a dog. Go where dogs are. Involve yourself in activities that dogs frequent. Get really good at paying attention to dogs you meet. Make time to actively seek out what you want.

11.) Say 'No' to any temptations to accept a cat-'just one last time'-when you really want a dog. This can be a huge temptation when you are actively working to change the pattern. Just don't do it. It doesn't work. It never did and never will. You are deluding yourself.

12.) Don't go where the cats are and pine for a dog. This is ridiculous behavior and incredibly self defeating.

There is a whole new level of joy on the healed side of this pattern. You will find yourself a lot happier and more satisfied. You will accept others...and yourself. You will choose to fill your life with those who are what you want. You will stop suffering from deluding yourself. You will stop wanting and trying to change others. There's a lot of inner peace in acceptance. There's satisfaction in knowing a cat (or dog) when you see one. There's also much more love in the world.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=301342&ca=Self

Disguised Blame By Suzi Elton

o you shirk responsibility for your own life with disguised blame? This sounds like a fairly accusatory statement, but 'hear' me out. There's value here. Let's start with the concept of 'shirk responsibility'. There may be ways that your life does not fulfill the dreams you have. This could be an indicator that you have have unconsciously not taken responsibility for creating what you want. Don't get into any judgment or self critical behavior. Simply observe where you life is less than what you want it to be. This will likely suggest some potential activities you could choose to take to close the gap.

Here are some other ways that we human may shirk responsibility for creating the lives we want and some potential disguised blaming techniques.

1.) We may choose not to fulfill our destiny, but hold someone else at fault. Many clients believe they do not have the life they desire because of childhood treatment. Obviously, this is untrue, when you pay attention to stories of very traumatic situations taht some have overcome. If this descibes you (and it is very common), take a serious look at how you still allow the past to create a less than satisfying future. In effect, you are letting 'them' and those events rob you of the life you want. Does that make any sense?

2.) Any time you do not follow through on commitments to yourself--there is some sort of disguised blame. Take a look at the excuses you use, 'I'm tired.', 'I'm depressed.', 'Someone's not treating me right.', 'I'm overwhelmed.', 'I didn't have enough time.' Somehow, these excuses suggest that you had no control over the situation. You might look at the possibility that putting your commitment to yourself and your life first would be taking responsiblity. Usually, if you do that, and take action in spite of circumstances, you will move out of the mindset of the excuse, no longer be controlled by it, and develop momentum by staying in action.

3.) If we hold that, 'It's not my fault!' that we did not follow through, that, of course implies that the blame lies elsewhere. Any time you find yourself thinking or saying that sentence, take a moment to explore whose fault it is.

4.) One way that clients disguise blame is by not taking charge and making sure there is enough time to do the things they commit to do to create the results they want. Then, they end up incomplete and pretending to be the victim of 'time'. If you recognize yourself here, this can be an easy shift to make. Simply make the activity your #1 priority and plan all other activities around it.

5.) Failing to plan or write the plan down is another way to disguise blame. If you don't take the responsibility of creating a written plan, it's unlikely that you will see your responsibility in not having what you want. Written plans are always a factor in success.

6.) Frequently, clients fail to progress because they have no support system. What they do not see is that they have not built one. They have not put out the effort to do what it takes to have the ongoing support that contributes so much to success. How can you create support for yourself? Hire a coach, join a mastermind, get a mentor, take classes at an entrepreneur center. Assocaite with positive and supportive people.Avoid negative and non-supportive situations and people. Make this happen for yourself.

7.) 'Life intervened' is another way that we might disguise blame. Yes, this does happen to all of us at times. If you find that that is your consistent excuse for lack of followthrough though, it is simply an excuse. You might look at how you allow other things to take priority over having the life you want. This is disguised blame because surely it is someone else's fault.

Take a look (gently) at any ways that you do not follow through on your commitments to yourself. These are likely going to show you the ways you get in the way of having the life you want. Once you see your self sabotage, you can start to change it.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=301343&ca=Self