Trying to Make a Cat Into a Dog By Suzi Elton

Have you ever 'had to' listen to a person complain long and miserably because someone in their life will not behave differently? Do you hear bitter recrimination because you are who you are and won't be what someone else wants you to be? Are you the one who is simply unable to accept the personality or nature of another in your life? These are instances of attempting to turn a cat into a dog.

There's something seriously askew when we cannot accept the basic nature of others in our life. Here are some things to consider.

1.) Perhaps the issue is that you never noticed the basic nature of the cat. You've spent a lot of time with them, but somehow (perhaps because you wished it so) you convinced yourself that the cat was a dog.

2.) There are those who delude themselves about the nature of things from the beginning. They prefer to live in fantasy rather than in reality. They end up with lots of knocks on the head (or heart) doing this, but somehow they just keep repeating the pattern.

3.) Some people accept others as they are at first, then later decide who they are is not adequate or acceptable. This can have a lot of causes...it can be a 'rejection game' meant to allow them to feel superior. It can be a way to create distance. Perhaps they were desperate for attention and company at first, then wake up one day finding fault.

4.) There is almost a kind of 'insanity' involved in wanting others to be different from who they are. It is irrational to want black to be white or to want a man to be a 'girlfriend' or to want for up to be down. Yet, we don't see the irrationality in wanting someone to be different from who they are.

5.) If you want a dog in your life, don't choose a cat for your pet. Pay attention to who people truly are. They will show you their true nature. All you have to do is keep your eyes open, observe, and don't pretend that they are different from what you see.

6.) Make a point not to fantasize or romanticize about people. Don't observe a single behavior and make up whole sagas about what kind of person they are. Just stay in reality and stay out of daydreams.

7.) Don't pretend to be someone different from who you truly are. Doing so will only complicate matters. If you are presenting a false self, you are likely getting others responding to you differently from their true self...and this can only result in problems later.

8.) Keep your social life active enough that you will not make choices driven by loneliness. When loneliness is a primary criteria, you will likely accept others who aren't really a fit for you or your life.

9.) Decide either to accept a person as they are or 'let them go' from your life. Life is too short to spend it in dissatisfaction in our interpersonal relationships. If they aren't what you want, bless them and send them on their way.

10.) If you want a dog, choose a dog. Go where dogs are. Involve yourself in activities that dogs frequent. Get really good at paying attention to dogs you meet. Make time to actively seek out what you want.

11.) Say 'No' to any temptations to accept a cat-'just one last time'-when you really want a dog. This can be a huge temptation when you are actively working to change the pattern. Just don't do it. It doesn't work. It never did and never will. You are deluding yourself.

12.) Don't go where the cats are and pine for a dog. This is ridiculous behavior and incredibly self defeating.

There is a whole new level of joy on the healed side of this pattern. You will find yourself a lot happier and more satisfied. You will accept others...and yourself. You will choose to fill your life with those who are what you want. You will stop suffering from deluding yourself. You will stop wanting and trying to change others. There's a lot of inner peace in acceptance. There's satisfaction in knowing a cat (or dog) when you see one. There's also much more love in the world.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=301342&ca=Self

5 Benefits Of Slowing Down: Tales Of A Pregnant Pause By Amber Rosenberg

For the majority of my life, learning how to slow down has been very much a work-in-progress. Several years ago, I was completely unfamiliar with the concept, however, due to various life circumstances, I've had regular opportunities to re-examine my pace in life and to make choices as to what would work best moving forward.

This last year or so, I chose to exercise really hard, to work even harder, and to fill my weekends with social engagements. Then, three months ago, I found out I was pregnant and everything started to change - again.

As a goal-oriented woman who prides herself in knowing what she wants and making it happen, I felt extremely grateful to be pregnant - especially since this is not a guarantee in life. I was very excited for about a week - I called immediate family to share the news and was unable to contain myself when I saw friends in person. I thought I had it all figured out. Think again.

I quickly started to experience severe pain that left me on the couch for two weeks. I was diagnosed with three different pregnancy-related conditions that not only caused pain but left me completely exhausted - much more than the normal first-trimester fatigue (not to mention the all-day bouts of nausea).

I realized that my body was providing me with my next opportunity to learn how to slow down and I had to make some choices - quickly. I decided to greatly minimize my work commitments and to give up my intense hour-long daily exercise routine (it was just too painful). I also scaled down my social calendar, selecting fewer and more easy-going activities.

To say that all of this has been a challenge and a learning experience would be an understatement. Here are a few lessons I've learned, in hope that you can apply whatever you find helpful to your own life.

Sometimes a packed schedule can give you the feeling that you're accomplishing a lot, really successful and in high-demand. While all this action and busyness may make you feel important, it's still possible to feel successful without killing yourself. It's less about quantity and more about quality; less about ego and more about substance. Also, if you don't learn how to slow down on your own, your body may take matters into its own hands. Last, slowing down is a body/mind/soul/heart experience. You can't just say you're going to slow down and make it happen. All of you has to be on board (or forced to be on board) or it won't work.

5 Benefits of Slowing Down:

1) You experience the present more fully and are able to be here now without worrying about what's next.

2) The days and weeks feel longer and you gain a truer understanding of the value of time.

3) You're better able to notice the people, the moments or the situations that give you the most energy and fulfillment and to prioritize these moving forward. When you choose to spend time with people, you're better able to connect with them and on a deeper level.

4) You're able to get back in touch with your creative, strategic side that allows you to think big and create a vision.

5) You remember what you're grateful for because you have time to think about it.

As you think about how slowing down may serve you, ask yourself a few questions. What's the easiest thing you can do this week to slow down? What's the benefit? What's the cost? What are you learning about yourself? What will you do differently moving forward?

You may find that learning how to slow down is a wonderful gift you can give yourself, your loved ones, and your career. Or you may discover that you're at a point in your life where slowing down simply doesn't serve you. The important thing is to do some honest, careful thinking about what works best for you right now and to know that you always have a choice moving forward. You're worth it.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=208712&ca=Self